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Offense or Defense?

John 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you.

In my junior year of high school, my American History teacher said something that has always stuck with me: “There are two types of people in the world, those that play offense and those that play defense.” Okay, so he was also the wrestling coach, but his point was clear and it made an impression on me.

I approach life from a defensive angle. I drive defensively, make decisions defensively, and even play chess defensively; which may be why I always lose that game... I am not a risk taker. I am a protector.

Being a defensive player isn’t a bad thing. It has served me well in most areas of my life except one: my heart. When it comes to relationships, playing defense all the time doesn’t work. Over the years, I have been hurt by friends, family, boyfriends, etc. It happens to all of us. Human beings will let us down and sometimes hurt us. As a protector, my natural instinct in the face of each new hurt was to build a wall around my heart to prevent it from feeling that pain again. In time, as I laid more and more bricks on my wall, I was left with a heart that was unreachable and lonely, surrounded by a very large barricade between vulnerability and isolation. In my attempt to protect myself, I ended up with a heart that would let no one in.

Over the past year or so, God has been dealing with my heart and my relationships. Through His Mercy, I have been learning how to tear down that wall of isolation and allow myself to trust in people again. It is not easy, but this process has made my relationships better than ever before. I have stopped being so defensive with my feelings, and allowed the people I love to reach my heart. I owe a great deal to the Celebrate Recovery ministry that I am a part of at my local church. Through this ministry I have been given the tools to deal with the hurts that never healed behind that massive wall I had built.

Walls are bad… or so I thought. Then this past weekend my pastor was talking about a different kind of wall then the one I had constructed. This wall was not a wall of defense, it was a proactive wall – an offensive wall, like the one that Nehemiah built. Nehemiah rebuilt a wall for the right reasons. His goal was not to protect himself; it was to protect the thing that God was doing among His people. This wall was an act of worship and faith. Nehemiah wasn’t isolating the people with this wall, he was creating a barrier between them and their enemies.

The point of the sermon by my pastor was about choosing our friends wisely, and being careful who we let influence our lives. Nehemiah’s purpose for rebuilding the wall was to keep out those that would derail the work of God. This is different than the type of wall that I had known before. This was an act of offense – living life on purpose and with intention. The more the people of God worked with Nehemiah to rebuild the wall, the more the world came against them. That still holds true today… the more we seek after God and His will in our lives, the more opposition  we will encounter from those who are not heading in the same direction as we are. As Christians we are called to separate ourselves – to live in the world, but not of the world. As my pastor said this weekend, we must become vertical players, not horizontal players. We need to remain focused on God and take our eyes off of the world. The human heart is easily influenced, but the Holy Spirit is our barrier, our wall, against those that seek to harm the good work the Lord is doing in our lives. The difference for me is who is doing the building. Am I putting up a wall with my own power or am I allowing the Holy Spirit to build the wall in my life?

What kind of walls do you have in your life? Do you allow the Holy Spirit to play defense by offensively seeking His wisdom in your relationships? Are you a vertical player? Through Him we can live lives of intention.

Be Blessed, my friends!

Taking Back Woman from the World

Song of Solomon 7:10 I belong to my love, and his desire is for me.

Over the centuries, the image of woman has been celebrated by artists of all kind. She has been depicted in paintings, sculptures and photographs. She has been spoken of in song, poetry and prose. This creature – created in the image of God – has been the subject of many of the greatest works of art in history. Why is that? …Because she is beautiful.

Man and woman were both created in the image of God. A man is strong and stable. His body is large and hard with muscles and sinew. He is designed for labor. His stature denotes his strength with broad shoulders and large hands. He is a natural conqueror, protector and provider. A woman on the other hand is soft and supple. She is not chiseled like a man; rather she is round, curvy and voluptuous. She is a giver of life, of which she can then nourish and nurture. Her image is one of beauty – inviting and mysterious. It is no wonder she has been such a muse in art of all kinds. Unfortunately, over time, this image of woman has been distorted and misused. Rather than being intriguing and beguiling, she has become an object of lust and perversion. What the enemy has done to this precious creation of God – this image of God Himself – is disgusting.

Women today find ourselves fighting against this distorted image of woman every day. The world tells us that we are sexual beings in a perverted and impure way. Our figure no longer promotes life, but rather promotes lust. As a Christian woman, I believe we fight against this worldly image even more than most.

It has always been my goal to become more like the woman that God created me to be. I strive daily to learn, to change the things that need changing, and enhance the gifts that He has given me. I want to be a Godly woman/wife/mother. The trouble is I need guidance because I can’t do it on my own.

Enter Proverbs 31. If you have never read this chapter of Proverbs, I encourage you to do so. It gives a beautiful portrait of a Godly woman. She is hard working and industrious. She carries herself with beauty and grace. She takes care of her home and her family and she does it all for the Glory of God. The Proverbs 31 woman is a shining example for us. It is a tall order, but serves as a guideline for the modern Christian woman.

Nothing about this woman says impure. She is the epitome of a Godly woman and the opposite of what the world promotes. So why is it that when I studied her, I felt a part of me was being stifled? In studying this chapter, I still felt something was missing. This image of woman neglected a part of who I am as a woman… my sexuality. Then I flipped forward in my bible a few pages and found what was missing right there in the Song of Solomon.

Growing up in a Christian home, I was taught about modesty, purity and being chaste. I learned as I stumbled through puberty how to stifle the natural new feelings that were rising up in me. I knew that I was not to have sex until I was married, and I knew that to dress immodestly as the world does was not okay for a young woman of God. I strived to be a good girl and did not let my sexuality rule my life. I threw myself deeper into my relationship with God. When I eventually married, however, I never fully embraced the part of me that is described in Song of Solomon. Somehow, the more intimate I became with God, the less I was able to be intimate with my husband. Sex had somehow turned into something dirty and even worse, something ungodly. As a young woman I had lost sight of the fact that God designed me as a sexual being. The enemy had tricked me into believing that sex was something shameful, and that sexuality is not something that good Christians embrace.

But, as I allowed God lead me through the Song of Solomon, my distorted view of this part of my nature fell away.  Sex is not dirty, it is not ungodly; rather it is sacred and beautiful and pure. Yes, I said pure. The marriage bed is a place of vulnerability and intimacy with your spouse. Being desirable and sexy and attractive to your spouse is to be celebrated, not something to be ashamed of. The female form, with its soft skin and many curves, has become something I am thankful for. I am a woman of God. In all aspects of what that means.

So, does that mean that I now dress provocatively as the world tells me I should? Do I want to be admired by all men as an object of desire? Not at all; the key to tapping into your sexuality as a Godly woman are these three words: the marriage bed. Not the boyfriend bed, the fiancé bed or the one-night-stand bed. True vulnerability and trust are found inside the vows of marriage. Let’s face it… sex is fun, and being desired is exhilarating. Even the bible says so. It’s time to take back the image of a woman from the world and return her to her rightful place in the image of God. Let us show the world that there is beauty in the Proverbs 31 and Song of Solomon woman – both are a part of who God designed us to be.

Be blessed, dear sisters! We are created in the image of God.

Get To Know Your Daddy

Psalm 68:3 But the righteous are glad; they rejoice before God and celebrate with joy.

                                           

“Mom, can you sign this paper for school?”

“Mom, I need $10.”

“Mom, none of my pants fit, I need new ones.”

“Mom, can I have your credit card to fill my gas tank?”

“Mom, what’s for dinner? I’m starving.”

And on and on and on…

I adore my kids. They are beautiful, fun and intelligent. They are also needy and stubborn and frustrating at times! Some days it seems that the only conversations we have are when they need something. I understand that teenagers don’t have much in common with a 39 year old woman, and I don’t mind at all that they still need me. In fact, I like that they do! And considering how much I still need my mom, I’m guessing they always will need me in one way or another, even when they are grown and gone from our home. At least I hope they will.

With that being said, my favorite moments with my children are the times we can relax and just enjoy life together. We play games, or watch TV and make each other laugh like no one else in the world can because our inside jokes are hilarious. When there are no pressing problems to take care of, our time together is simple and easy. We are free to be ourselves and free to love unconditionally. I’m sorry to say, those moments are not often enough, but we are working on that. Schedules are busy and life is demanding and as they grow and get involved in more things, our down time is limited. I find myself anticipating those precious moments and seeking out our family time.

That got me thinking about my relationship with my Heavenly Father, and I came to the conclusion that I approach him just like a needy and stubborn teenager. My most fervent prayer times are when I need something, and then I am hesitant to take His advice on how to handle the tough situations in my life. How often do I just sit and enjoy time with Him when life is easy and the stress is at a minimum? Not often enough.

I have several life verses that keep me going. My favorite is Psalm 3:3 “But You, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts up my head.” This verse has gotten me through many tough times when I was down and depressed. God is the one who holds me head up when I can’t.

The interesting thing to me is all my life verses are about me. They are about how God can help me when I am down or when I am stressed or when life is beating me up. Not one of my favorite verses is about simply enjoying my Lord. Sad, isn’t it?

I imagine God is much like we are as parents. We love being there for our kids when they need us, and we will do everything in our power to fix whatever is wrong in their life. We give advice which is sometimes ignored. We tend to their cuts and scrapes and do all we can to mend their hearts when they are broken. We do this because we love them and want only the best for them. We want to see them happy and to see them succeed. And yet, the most precious time is spent just enjoying each others company. I bet God is like me, just waiting for those moments of unconditional love, filled with joy and peace and freedom to just be ourselves and get to know each other better.

So today, with repentant heart, I am adding some new favorite verses into my life; verses that revel in my relationship with my Daddy, and are filled with ease.

Psalm 68:3 But the righteous are glad; they rejoice before God and celebrate with joy.

Isaiah 61:10 I will greatly rejoice in the Lord, My soul shall be joyful in my God; For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation, He has covered me with the robe of righteousness, As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments, And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

What are your life verses? Is it time to add some new ones into the mix?

Be Blessed, my friends!

Beautiful Box of Control

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope…”

I am not a spontaneous person.

For as long as I can remember, I prefer to approach life with a plan. I like to know what steps need to be taken between A and Z. This is true for every aspect of my life. I have a need to understand what is coming next in order to feel comfortable and prepared. It is also why I am not a fan of practical jokes. They are so unexpected, and I can’t prepare for my reaction to them. Does this make me controlling? Yes… but I’m working on that… I just need to figure out what steps I must take to fix that negative aspect of my personality. Hmm… maybe I’m going about it the wrong way, don’t you think?

Anyway, today was a day where my carefully planned steps were completely disrupted by an unintentional nap. After I got the kids ready for school, finished packing their lunches, said our prayer and sent them on their way, I fell asleep. I do this sometimes because I don’t sleep well and generally my bed time is between 2 and 3 am. An extra hour in the morning after the kids go to school gives me a boost of energy to face my day. This morning, however, I didn’t wake back up until 1:15 in the afternoon! This is unheard of for me. I made myself a pot of coffee and felt very uneasy at my wasted day. All the plans I had made for errands, bible study and cleaning were ruined. The reality is this spontaneous nap had left me feeling rested physically, but completely frustrated and frazzled emotionally.

When I finally got around to praying and having some quiet time with God, I went to Him with my feelings. Why did I feel this way? Why is it so necessary for me to have my life planned out minute by minute in a neat little package?

I asked God to show me the areas of my life in the biggest need of some spontaneity, and the response I got surprised me (and we all know I don’t like surprises). What I heard the Holy Spirit telling me was “God”. God?? How can God be the thing I control the most? And the Holy Spirit gave me a picture of a pretty little box, all wrapped up in beautiful wrapping, and tied with an extravagant ribbon complete with a bow. What was inside the box? God.

Ouch. I am keeping God in a box in my life. As I wondered why, the answer became clear. I don’t like surprises. I like things planned out, mapped out, following directions step by step. God was letting me know that He is not something that I can control in my life. I can’t possibly map out my relationship with Him because HE is the one who has the plan, not me.

All this time I was thinking that my relationship with my Heavenly Father was solid… I prayed every day, I did my devotional almost every day, I was careful to be a representative of Him to the best of my ability in all that I said and did. But… the truth is I have been trying to control His movement in my life instead of letting Him take the lead. I am lacking trust in Him by taking the reigns myself.

Now I must tell you, one of my favorite things about God is that when He gently corrects me, He never leaves me feeling burdened. As I continued to pray and ask Him to help me open the box that I have been keeping Him in, He gave me a new vision. This time is was a can of peanuts. This was not your ordinary can of peanuts, however, it was the practical joke can. You know the one… the unsuspecting recipient who opens this can is surprised when the spring loaded snake pops out as the lid is lifted; unpredictable and completely harmless. God has been sitting inside my pretty little ribbon-tied box, spring loaded and just waiting for me to release Him into my life. He will not bring me harm, but He will be unpredictable. The question is this: Do I trust Him enough to let Him out?

How is God moving in your life? Are you like me and try to maintain control of the reigns? Or are you spontaneous enough to let him freely bring beautiful unpredictability into your days?

For me… it’s time to let go of the reigns.

Be blessed, my friends!

Take My Hand

Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.

I must admit that one of my guilty pleasures is to head to my favorite coffee shop alone, get my usual and just people watch. Even better is when that coffee shop is located in a mall or busy shopping strip. God speaks to me often as I watch people just going about their business.

I vividly remember one particular rainy day when I was feeling very overwhelmed by the pressures of life. I was not in a good mood, and I felt like I was treading water alone, just waiting for sharks to come. Remember the movie “Open Water”? Yeah… like that.

As I sipped my delicious drink and looked out the window at the passersby, I was struck by what I saw. A young girl around 4 years old got out of her car with her mom and then ran to a nearby truck where her dad was getting out of the driver seat. Her pretty brown hair was flowing behind her and she had the biggest grin on her face. I could tell her mom yelled something at her, probably along the lines of “Don’t run through the puddles!” or “Watch out for cars!” She never looked back. By the time she reached her daddy, he was already in full stride approaching his family. She put her tiny hand inside of his large hand and matched his stride as they weaved through the many people and cars. At one point, he lifted her little body off the ground, up and over a mud puddle that had formed on the pavement. With great ease he protected her from getting dirty and wet. And together they went, hand in hand, into the shopping center.

I remember as a child the feeling of comfort I received by simply slipping my hand into the hand of my father when we were in a public place. Somehow, the connection of flesh in that simple gesture filled me with sense of safety. I knew that no matter what we faced as we entered the mall, or the grocery store, or the hardware store, I would be okay because my daddy was guiding me through the crowd, out of harm’s way. I remember practically running to keep up with my dad as he would walk, knowing that I needed to stay alert if I was going to match his pace. Even though it was a struggle at times, the reward was the peace of mind and security that nothing could hurt me if I just remained focused on him.

Using the image of that little girl and her father, God gently reminded me that He is my father. He is always holding out His hand just waiting for His little girl to take hold and rest in His security and peace of mind. He also reminded me that although His pace may require me to take some quick steps, I don’t need to worry about stumbling as long as I keep my focus on Him rather than my own feet. He will not steer me wrong.

So now each morning as I pray to begin my day, I envision God’s majestic and beautiful hand extended to me. And each day I slip my hand into His and do my best to remain focused on Him so I can match His pace.

I pray that each one of you will come to understand and embrace the safety and security of God’s extended hand. His hand is ours to hold, and the One that will pull us out of the mud puddles we encounter along the way.

Be Blessed!

Shield of Faith

Ephesians 6:16 In every situation take the shield of faith, and with it you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

I was flipping through the channels on TV the other day and came across an old cartoon. In it the main character was being chased by some sort of tribesman and at one point they are shooting arrows at him. He holds up a small shield and miraculously the multitude of arrows all land on the shield, keeping him unharmed; typical cartoon behavior.

Don’t get me wrong… I loved watching Bugs Bunny and Tom and Jerry and many more just like them when I was a child. You know, way back when cartoons were only shown on Saturday mornings. I’m still getting used to the fact that cartoons are now shown 24/7 on multiple channels. These kids are missing out on the Saturday Morning experience!

Now the whole scene from this episode reminded me of the verse in the Book of Ephesians:

Ephesians 6:16 “In every situation take the shield of faith, and with it you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”

In my small human mind, I often picture the shield of faith as a small shield, just like that cartoon; one that barely covers my body. But what does that passage really say? It says that with the shield of faith, we are not just protected, but we are able to extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. Wow… now that is not your average shield. An average shield will deflect the arrows, but not extinguish them. This shield of faith must be something much more than what my mind’s eye pictures. And yet, as I always tend to do, I have diminished this picture of a shield to a small size that I can understand.

It is time to embrace my shield of faith as what it really is… not just a defense, but as a weapon. I have spent far too long deflecting the many flaming arrows that the enemy has been shooting at me. It is exhausting! Always keeping my eye peeled for the next one that may come my way, and making sure that I am ready to put up my shield in defense. It is physically and emotionally draining for sure. This was never God’s intention for my shield of faith… I have been using it all wrong. God is telling me right there in Ephesians that this shield of faith is a weapon and will extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. It never says I have to deflect them at all. I believe this weapon of faith will extinguish them and render the arrows of the enemy useless, so I don’t need to play defense. 

And it takes no effort on my part, except to believe. Praise God!

How are you using your shield of faith?

I pray that your shield of faith will become a weapon in your life, not just an exhausting defense mechanism. I believe this truth will set you free from many struggles as it has done for me.

Attributes of God - Beacon

It has been a whirlwind of a month! I haven't posted in weeks and I know I am posting something creative on the wrong day, but I'm doing it anyway. I know... I'm such a rebel. <grin>

This is the second installment of my series of poems on the Attributes of God.

I hope you enjoy...

Beacon

With suffocating darkness all around
these cries for help are muffled by the din
and not one scream released will make a sound.
This voice is tethered by the weight of sin.

A sadness floods the soul that is now bound
as evil grips the heart that beats within.
While tortured flesh seeks refuge not yet found
relentless claws of death keep digging in.

No strength remains to wage this war alone,
so spirit calls to Spirit for release.
A light appears exposing the unknown
to chase away the shadows with His peace.
Now letting go, the child resigns the fight,
directed by the Beacon out of night.

Copyright © 2012 Mary Grace Wallace

Friday Orginal #5

Too often I am drawn to memories of the past - good and bad. I dwell on the bad and beat myself up about them, or melancholy takes over and I long for the good ol' days. The thing about the past is that when we try to hang on to it, we are swallowed up the waves and must struggle to free ourselves from their pull.

Instead, I need to focus on God.. on today.. and on what He has in store for my future. God doesn't dwell in our past. He lives in us now, and prepares our hearts for what is to come.

I pray that God remind me daily to embrace my daily bread and leave yesterday in the past.

I hope you enjoy....

Shifting Gaze

The rolling tides forever change the shore.

A new design is formed with ebb and flow.

The memories of yesterday will go

and disappear into the ocean floor.

The undertow awakens the allure

to grab the past from waters there below.

Alas! The crashing waves prevent it, though,

now swallowed by the sea forever more.

Conversely lift the gaze to that on high

where what has been gives way to what will be:

the future rests on billows far above.

Our maker of the earth and sea and sky

creates for us this model of the free.

The former gone; the new abides in Love.

Copyright © 2011 Mary Grace Wallace

Seasoning

I had the privilege of spending some time with my mom today discussing the bible and some possible writing projects. She is full of wisdom and knowledge and council. I love to listen to her. She is an example of a Titus 2 woman, and someone that I hope to become like as I age.

I am 39. No longer a young woman, and yet, not quite a woman of wisdom that comes with years of experience and walking with the Lord. I still have some more seasoning to go through before that happens. I hope that one day I can say that I am a Titus 2 woman. One day, I hope that wisdom is part of my story.

In the meantime, I am like a first generation iron skillet. You know the ones I am talking about… they are heavy, and old looking, and appear to need a real cleaning to the untrained eye. But those of us that cook with them, we know the truth behind those layers of “gunk”. It’s seasoning.

Many times iron skillets are passed down from generation to generation. They don’t wear out and when they are cared for properly, they don’t rust either. Nothing we cook tastes quite as good as when it’s made in that old skillet. Those layers of seasoning and years of love that have been poured into it add an extra dimension of flavor to the food. Just like those old skillets, our older generation adds an extra dimension to our life. Through years of seasoning, they carry a wisdom and strength that we new pans just can’t compete with. They are to be treasured and cared for just as we care for that old skillet.

As for me, I am still a first generation skillet. I have been seasoned some, but not nearly as much as the generation before me. I add dimension and wisdom to this life, but only a fraction of what my mother, aunts and grandmother add. My layers are still thin and not yet filled with the flavor that comes with time, testing, and years of love. But my time will come and eventually I will be a valued old skillet that flavors the next generation.

Do you have any special Titus 2 women in your life? Have you told them lately how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them? It might be time to do so, because before you know it, that Titus 2 woman will be you.

Titus 2:3-5 … older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good,

so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God’s message will not be slandered.

BOOM!!

Psalm 147:3 He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds

The bomb goes off. And everything has changed. Only questions remain…

What does the aftermath look like? How long does it take for the smoke to clear? Where do we start the clean up process? Do we first treat the wounds and then rebuild, or should the rebuilding happen as we are treating the wounds?

Recently, an emotional bomb went off in my life. And everything has changed. These questions are what remain in the aftermath of my life as I used to know it. I cannot go back to the way things were before, no matter how hard I try. I can’t ignore the mess that has been left in the wake, no matter how much I want to. I can’t wait for the wounds to heal on their own, no matter how hard they are to face.

The aftermath, I can tell you, is ugly. Not because of the news that was received or the people it involved, but because my life as I see it now in the aftermath is only vaguely familiar. I see shapes and colors and mementos of what once was my reality, but they are mixed in with anger and hurt and sadness.

It has taken me 6 months or so for the smoke to clear enough for me to move forward. To some that seems like an incredibly long time. To some I am moving too slow. But they don’t know my pain. They don’t know my circumstances and I pray to God they never understand what I am going through.

I am not sure where to start cleaning up the mess. I want to avoid it at all cost, and there are days when I do just that. It is too painful to consider, so I curl up on the couch and watch reruns of medical shows all day to occupy my mind enough to forget. But I don’t really forget. So I turn to my old friend, Food, to ease my pain… until I see the Celebrate Recovery chip that hangs from my key chain and I am reminded that Food is not my friend. So I walk away. I try to talk about it, but I find the more I talk about it, the less I can comprehend what I’m feeling, which is too painful to consider so I curl up on the couch… and the cycle begins again.

I need to treat the wounds. Some of them are minor, but others are gaping holes in my heart and I have doubt they will ever be fully repaired. I also need to rebuild, but I’m not ready for that yet… Triage is where I need to be. I need to stop the bleeding first before I can do anything else. I’m thankful the smoke cleared enough for me to realize that.

Psalm 147:3 says that He will heal this broken heart. It promises that He is my Triage… He will bind up these wounds. I believe that. I believe that He can heal this broken heart, but first I have to be willing to hand it over to him. I have to be willing to lie at the feet of Jesus and hand over this situation…

I don’t know if I am strong enough to do that yet, but I am willing to try. His promises are eternal, and I believe the living word of God when it says that He will heal this broken heart. Do you? What aftermath in your life are you clinging to? I am going to try to give this burden to Him… I hope you will join me. There is healing and freedom at the feet of Jesus. Be blessed!

3-in-one

I am a little behind on my posting. My new work schedule is a tough one to get used to and has interrupted my sleeping pattern which leaves me a tired and a bit lazy, if I’m being honest, but I’m adjusting. And I’m grateful for my job that God has provided for me.

Anyway, I am including 3 segments in one this week; Old Testament, A day in the life, and some creative writing.

I learned something new this week – words are powerful.

Okay, so that isn’t a new thought. I have heard it many times, but for some reason it really hit home for me the last few days. Then I read a quote on twitter that said this: Does your hunger for God make other people hungry?

Interesting thought which brought to mind this poem:

Temptation
The aroma of you teases my nose
as I'm walking through the door.
A mixture of salt and spice and sweet
I'm helpless to your allure.

The temptation of you builds in me
like fire it burns right through.
I feel your warmth and cannot resist
as I draw closer to you.

Then giving in I reach out my hand,
your decadence I embrace.
The anticipation fills my mind
and my heart begins to race.

As I close my eyes and part my lips
I'm driven by just one goal:
Your succulent taste upon my tongue,
oh lovely cinnamon roll.
Copyright © 2010 Mary Grace Wallace

The words of that poem took your mind somewhere, right? Words alone created a sense of urgency and desire. Desire is not a bad thing. One look at the Song of Songs in the Old Testament and we understand that desire is not sinful. God did not intend for desire to become a sinful matter. We did that on our own by desiring things that are not in alignment with God.

Psalm 42:1 compares our longing for the Lord as a deer that pants for the waters of the brook. We thirst for Him. And Psalm 37:4 tells us that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart. Desire isn’t a bad thing, and if we are focused on God, then our heart is aligned with Him and our desires are good in His sight.

So… that poem took us to a place of desire, by using merely words. Words are powerful.

Recently, I was in a situation where I was asked about my convictions. Why did I read the bible? Why did I do daily devotionals and pray? Why did I try to avoid things like gossip and raunchy conversation? As I stood there looking into the eyes of the curious, I didn’t know what to say. Inside I was screaming, “because I am saved through the Grace of Jesus Christ, who renews my heart and mind with new mercies each morning! He is my Savior, He is my Lord and He is the one thing I value most – above all else – and living according to His standard is my privilege and the least I can do for the shedding of His blood for me.”

But I didn’t say that. Sadly, I took that wonderful opportunity to proclaim the good news of the gospel and talk about my savior, and I simply said this: “It is my personal conviction and the way I choose to live my life. It makes me happy.”

As soon as I said it, my heart ached. I wanted to take the words back and boldly proclaim my Savior to them, but the moment had passed and the window of opportunity to plant that seed had closed for now.

Words are powerful… Are you using yours to tell the world about Jesus, to proclaim the gospel and explain your desire for Him? Or are you like me, and squandering the opportunities that are presented to you for fear of judgment because you are trying to fly under the radar and be liked?

Yeah… I don’t want to worry about being liked anymore. I want to be so consumed by desire for my Lord that every word that comes out of my mouth will bring people to a place of desire for Him as well. I want my hunger to make them hungry.

This is my prayer today… and every day.

Tuesday Funny #3

This is so true! I love getting hand written letters in the mail. They are so much more personal than emails.

Filter Your Life

Colossians 1:20 “and through Him to reconcile everything to Himself by making peace through the blood of His cross — whether things on earth or things in heaven.”

I am an Instagram junkie. There… I admit it. They say that is the first step, right?

If you don’t know what Instagram is, ask your kids. Or your grandkids. Or someone with a smart phone.

I don’t really know why I like it so much. Maybe because there is something about adding all those filters to my photos to manipulate the color and the focus that make me feel so… so… artsy, and creative.

The downfall to all these Instagram pictures that are taking over my social media is that every picture starts to look the same. The lighting, borders and colors are all so similar that the beauty of the photograph is getting lost. Artsy is okay, filters are fine, but there are times when clear, unfiltered pictures are so much better. In an attempt to express our individuality and be “hip” and “cool”, the masses are creating a generation of dingy, muddied, distorted images that all look the same.

Then again, not all filters are bad. Some filters give us protection. Sunglasses protect our eyes from the harmful rays of the sun, and sun shades for our car windshields protect our dashboards as well. The most important filter in our lives is the filter with which God views us. Once we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are covered in a new filter – the veil of the sacrificial blood of Jesus Christ. When God looks at us, and when we come to Him in prayer, he doesn’t see the sin and ugliness in our lives. He sees us as pure and white as snow because He is seeing us through the filter of the shed blood of Jesus Christ.

Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross gave us the perfect filter. And we don’t have to do a thing to apply it to the picture of our lives except believe it.

Do you have that filter of Jesus in your life? If not, it is easy to get. All you have to do is ask Jesus into your heart, confess with your mouth that He is Lord, believe He is the Son of God who sacrificed Himself on the cross for the redemption of the sin in your life, and you will be saved.

No smart phone required…

Friday Original #3

I recently started writing a poem series on the attributes of God.
I have only finished one, although I have started several.

Here is the first installment of my Attributes of God Series -

Lover

The touch of a hand caressing your face

The beat of a heart while wrapped in embrace

The barriers down to personal space...

... His Love is Closer

The poem that reads of flowers in bloom

The love song that plays a beguiling tune

The promise that lures in whispering boom...

... His Love is Truer

The place in the soul where butterflies live

The ears that flush out the bad like a sieve

The feet dance in rhythm with all they can give...

... His Love is Sweeter

Horizons expand in measureless width

From mountaintop peaks to ocean floor depth

The galaxies stretch with infinite breadth...

... Still, His Love is Greater

Copyright © 2012 Mary Grace Wallace

My Plank or Yours?

I truly dislike election season. I avoid watching TV (thank you Netflix and Hulu) because I can’t stand the ads which are all full of lies, half truths and exaggerations. I just don’t enjoy coexisting with so much negativity. It is everywhere… it’s on TV, it’s on my Facebook wall, it’s on every internet page and in so many of the conversations I hear around me. Negativity is everywhere.

And now my Facebook wall and 6 o’clock news are covering a new topic – Chick Fil A vs. Muppets. Okay, not muppets really, but the Jim Henson Corporation. I happen to love Chick Fil A with their waffle fries and shakes that are delicious. I also love the Muppets; I grew up watching them and have a cat named Fozzie Bear. According to my Facebook news feed, I can’t exist this way. I must take a side. I have to decide who I will stand by in this latest edition of divisive media stories.

I am a Christian, so does that mean I must automatically take the side of the Christian based company of Chick Fil A? Not so fast…

See, I take a different approach to this subject. In my attempt to follow Jesus’ example of how to live life, I am not so quick to point out the flaws in someone else. I don’t avoid certain people or places simply because they live their lives to a different moral standard than I do. I don’t assume that their sin or their life issues are any worse than mine. Trust me when I tell you, according to the bible, there is plenty of sin in my life. I am flawed and the plank in my eye is a big one. So who am I to point out what I perceive to be the splinter in yours?

Jesus spent most of his ministry life with the dregs of society – the prostitutes, tax collectors and the dishonored of that time. He gave them his time, he told them about God and most importantly, he loved them. This man, who was without sin, did not spend his hours ranting about the sin in their lives. Instead, he loved them.

Who am I to act any differently? And we are not talking about the dregs of society here, we are talking about your neighbors, your teachers, your family members and your friends. Does the bible say a man should not lay with a man? Yes, it does. The bible also says adultery is wrong and lying is sinful, and yet it happens more often than we even know about. Why are we as a Christian society so focused on a few sins of others? If we truly believe in the redemptive power of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, then don’t we also believe that God can deal with this particular issue on His own, just as he deals with the sin in our own lives? Who are we to point fingers at the splinters of others? My plank is big enough for me, and it needs my immediate attention… How about yours?

Now, I think I will head to Chick Fil A for some waffle fries, and pick up a Muppets t-shirt on the way.

Matthew 7 1-5 “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Obedience and Favor

Daniel 6:21-23 Daniel answered, “Long live the king! My God sent his angel to shut the lions’ mouths so that they would not hurt me, for I have been found innocent in his sight. And I have not wronged you, Your Majesty.” The king was overjoyed and ordered that Daniel be lifted from the den. Not a scratch was found on him, for he had trusted in his God.

Daniel was thrown into the lions’ den and lived without a scratch on him. Think about that for a minute…

Daniel was a man who was obedient to God before all things in his life. He learned how to balance being under earthly authority with being under God’s authority. Through his unwavering faithfulness to God, he was given the wisdom to earn trust and favor from his earthly authorities. It is amazing to read about the life of Daniel and see the Hand of God (literally in one case) lead him through. Daniel’s position increased as his earthly authority changed several times through the course of his lifetime, but his Heavenly authority remained constant and unchanging. And Daniel was obedient.

If Daniel received so much favor, then how did he end up in a lion’s den?

Two words: Jealousy and Pride

The administrators and the high officers of the king saw how well Daniel was doing and they were jealous. They tried hard to find fault in him, but because he was a man of integrity and was faithful and trustworthy, they could find no fault in him. So, they went to the king and praised his majesty. They told the king how worthy and wonderful he was. By appealing to his pride, they tricked the king into signing a law that if a person was caught praying to anyone other than the king, that person would be sentenced to death through the lions’ den. Daniel refused to disobey his God and continued his daily routine of prayer. Not only did Daniel refuse to go against his God, but he also refused to pray to Him in secret. He worshiped him in plain sight, just as he had always done.

The king had no choice but to follow through with the law and throw Daniel to the lions. We know the rest of the story… God protected Daniel and rewarded him for his obedience and faithfulness, and miraculously he was unharmed.

This story teaches me two things. First, it is possible to remain faithful and trustworthy with my integrity intact while I am serving my earthly authority, and yet still remain 100% obedient to God. Even when faced with terrible outcomes, nothing is as bad as facing a lions’ den. If Daniel could remain faithful in his horrific circumstance, I can remain faithful in my minor one. No one is threatening my life for being obedient to God. No matter how bad it seems, I have to remember that my God is faithful and he is bigger than any circumstance I face.

Second, I learned that when I am faithful to God, and God’s favor comes in my life, there will be those people who are jealous and want to see me fall. Just as the administrators and officers of king Darius tried to get rid of Daniel because of their jealousy, I will have opposition in my life as well.

Who are the king’s officers in your life? And will you remain faithful to God, even if it appears to bring you harm?

Tuesday funny #2

Rest begins Restoration

Matthew 11:28-29 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

Insomnia… I am occasionally afflicted with insomnia. There are nights when my brain refuses to shut down. I lay in bed, tossing and turning, wishing for some sweet sleep. No matter how hard I try to shut down my thoughts, they continue to swirl through my head like a blizzard of stress, worry and to-do lists.

In the morning, I get out of bed slowly and face my day in a fog. My eyes are heavy and my focus is limited. I am reminded how important rest is for my physical well being. Without allowing my body the true rest of sleep, I am unable to function as normal. I also leave myself open for more mistakes and even attacks of illness because my immune system is weakened. Rest is imperative for a healthy physical body.

In that same way, resting in the Lord is imperative for my spiritual well being. Just as my body cannot function properly without sleep, my spiritual walk suffers without proper rest. My faith is weakened and I become more susceptible to the attacks of the devil.

So how do we rest in the Lord? It is really quite simple – we pray. By spending time with our Lord in prayer and the Word daily, we are inviting His Presence to be with us throughout our day. Just as one night of sleep will not carry our physical bodies through an entire week, one morning in prayer and scripture will not suffice for 7 days, either. We cannot limit our time in the presence of God to Sundays only, or we leave ourselves open to doubt and fear because of our weakened faith.

In today’s scripture, Jesus promises us that if we come to Him, He will give us rest. I pray that the true rest found in Christ bring you strengthened faith and restoration to your burdened and weary mind. Just remember to come to Him daily and you will have optimum spiritual health.

What is your favorite time of day for devotion and prayer? Do you find it difficult to face the day without first resting in Jesus?

Look Inside

My church is doing a series on family right now. It is called Rx for a Fractured Family. It really has me thinking about how important it is to keep Jesus at the center of our homes.

This series reminded me of a poem I wrote in 2010 called Look Inside...

I hope you enjoy it.

Look Inside 

Our dress is not lavish.

We do not wear gold.

Our hair doesn’t shine

like others, I’m told.

Our home is quite modest.

Our car shows its wear.

Our lawn is not perfect

like others out there.

Our paintings are simple.

Our kitchen’s a mess.

No silver to polish

like others, I guess.

But our bibles are worn

and stained from our tears,

from hours of reading

and prayers through the years.

Our dining room table

to others seems bland,

but our food we still bless

as we sit hand in hand.

Take a look past the dirt

of old window panes…

See a family that loves;

over whom Jesus Reigns.

Copyright © 2010 Mary Grace Wallace

Born to be Kind?

Ever have one of those days where you just feel the need to punch someone in the face for no apparent reason?

No?

Oh… well, me neither, then…

Seriously, though, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I thought maybe my devotional would help, but not really. And as soon as my prayer time was over, I went right back to feeling cranky.

On my way to work, I was being snippy with my daughter, and then once I got to work I found it hard to put on my smile. I was just all around sour…

Then a funny thing happened. I watched an old man helping his wife with a walker get her food from the buffet, and he carried it back to her seat. He was so attentive to her the entire time, watching her intently and lovingly helping her. Then I saw some young parents who were attending to their very upset little baby. They lovingly caressed and held that baby until it calmed down. And I also saw a teenage boy pull out the chair for his grandmother and arrange the plates on the table for his grandfather.

Everywhere I turned I witnessed acts of love and kindness. It took away my sour attitude instantly, and as a result the rest of my day went smoothly.

It got me thinking about human nature. Society likes to tell us that people are mean, dishonest and untrustworthy. What I witnessed today and every day tells me that society is completely wrong. After all, we are made in the image of God. I believe that means that we are innately kind and loving creatures. Satan will try to tell us otherwise, and it is true that some people are so far removed from God that they appear to be evil and unkind. But I think the majority of people are what I saw today… kind, attentive and loving. That realization really puts a smile on my face…

What do you think? Do you think we are born kind and loving? Or do you think it is something we learn?

Destruction Lurks Within

Psalm 19:12

How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults.

Denial – not just a river in Egypt.

That saying used to cause me to roll my eyes and groan at its triteness.

Not anymore… Just this week I have restarted working the steps of Celebrate Recovery, which is based on 8 biblical principals, as well as the 12 step recovery we all know. I have dealt with my addiction to food, but I didn’t ever really deal with my co-dependency issues. So, I am going through them again with a good friend.

I didn’t think anything of our first lesson, which is on Denial. I thought, “No biggie, I don’t have any denial in my life anymore… my life is an open book – good and bad.”

Um, WRONG! As we worked though the lesson, it became very clear to me that I am still in denial about many of the hurts and pains of my past and how they affect me to this day. There are many heart issues and feelings I have not properly dealt with and they are affecting my relationships and decision making.

After our lesson was over, I was reading my bible for devotional, and read Psalm 19. Normally in this psalm I focus on the beginning where it talks about the Heavens proclaiming the glory of God. I love how it compares the beauty of nature and the greatness of it to worship. Without a word, these things are glorifying God. However, as I read on, a new verse in that psalm stood out to me. Verse 19 – “how can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults.” Wow, that hit home. It dawned on me that when I am in denial about a sin in my life, it is hidden, but it is still there lurking in my heart. It doesn’t go away simply because I don’t acknowledge it, rather it remains there causing damage and destruction.

So… Denial – it really isn’t just a river in Egypt. It is a real issue, and one that reaches well beyond the obvious things like addiction in our lives. It reaches into our soul, and hides its sin in the shadows of our hearts.

My prayer today is that God will shine His Light into every crevice of my heart, my life, my mind, and reveal to me all the places where denial is lurking. I can’t be fully free in Christ unless I am willing to rid my life of denial and deal with the hurts, habits and hang ups that are affecting my life.

Thankfully, I am not alone in this struggle. Through my church and especially through Celebrate Recovery, I have found the support system I need to embark on and complete this journey.

If you would like to know more about Celebrate Recovery or find a meeting place near you, visit this website:

www.celebraterecovery.com

Tuesday Funny - Bedtime Prayer

My kids and I got a good laugh at this Tim Hawkins video... I used to pray this prayer with them! Although it was a much less scary version. I remember the first time they heard this version as kids and they couldn't believe it... haha!

Enjoy... the first is a link to the video, in case the video doesn't show up in your browser. :)

Tim Hawkins - scary bedtime prayer

It Does a Body Good

1 Peter 2:2

“as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby…”

I have vivid memories of the television commercials of my youth that showed a scrawny young boy who would drink a glass of milk and turn into a strong young man. Or it would use the image of an awkward pre-teen girl who would turn into a beautiful, shapely young woman. As a child, these images were powerful in my mind. I wanted to grow up strong and beautiful, and the tag line of those commercials, “Milk, it does a body good!” made me believe in the power of that beverage.

In reality, Milk may not make an awkward child turn into a gorgeous young person, but it is a powerful substance. It is the first thing that newborns eat/drink and it contains all the necessary ingredients to help that baby grow in body and in mind. Without that milk, an infant cannot survive, for they are unable to eat or digest anything else.

Our spiritual lives are no different. We need the nourishment that will help us grow and strengthen in our walk with God. As babies we need the milk of our mothers to achieve this, but spiritually it is the milk of our Heavenly Father that we need to mature – the Word. The Word of God is our key to growing up spiritually to become strong and faithful believers.

In the commercials, they stretched the truth with the promise that we would turn out beautiful and strong if we drank those glasses of milk. Obviously, there is no guarantee that we would turn out that way, but the commercials did a good job of selling that idea to us. However, spiritually we do have a guarantee: If we give our lives to Jesus Christ and accept him as our Savior, we will be saved. And if we nourish our spirits with the spiritual milk of the Word of God, we are guaranteed to become stronger and more faithful in our walk with God. And that kind of guarantee just sells itself.

So tell me… Have you had your Milk today?

The Prodigal

It might be early Sunday morning, but I'm posting my Friday original post. :)

I wrote this after I came back to God in 2009. It fits with my devotional from Wednesday, and this weekend at church, my pastor is talking about Prodigals as well. So fitting... God must be trying to say something to me. I love when it is so clear.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

~Mary Grace

The Prodigal

What happened to her? Where did she go?
The one with the laugh and never a foe...
She'd light up the room with only a smile
Lending a hand or an ear all the while...

Somewhere along the journey of life
Her heart was consumed by darkness and strife.
When did it change? How can she know?
She faded too slowly to see it go.

Confused by the hurt and turmoil of late
She wonders if this is really her fate.
There's only one answer for the state that she's in
But she can't see it clearly through the veil of sin.

What's that?!? A light is piercing right through.
It started out small and she watched as it grew.
With ripping and tearing is the veil torn away
Instantly turning her night into day.

And now with the warmth of the Light on her face
She's enveloped by Mercy, Forgiveness and Grace.

"Where have you been?", to her Lord she cried out.
"You were gone for so long, I started to doubt."
"My daughter," He said, "I've always been here.
You just couldn't see me because of your fear."

"Oh Jesus, forgive me, for running away!
I promise to never again go astray.
I know in my heart my life is made new
As long as my eyes remain always on You."

Copyright © 2009 Mary Grace Wallace

Like David

Tonight I was reminded how much I love to worship.

I went to a small coffee shop in Lutz, FL called Organic Life Coffee Shop and Bakery. Every Tuesday and Thursday they hold open mic worship nights. I love to hear the awesome talent you find right in your own small town. I was there tonight specifically to watch a couple of young men in a band called Run Dakota pour out their hearts in a worship set. I love to see the next generation making a stand and telling the world of their love for Jesus Christ.

After Run Dakota finished their set, the next group came up and played a few songs. Immediately as we sang and worshiped, the presence of God that was invited into that place by Run Dakota was ushered in by the praises of this small group of musicians. That warm, enveloping blanket of the Holy Spirit rested upon each and every person in that room. I closed my eyes, and worshiped my Creator with my voice and basked in the Glory of His presence. It was beautiful.

I am a David… I live to worship my God. Nothing in this world – no person, place or thing – can make me feel so at home like worshiping God can.

I need to spend more time in Worship… There is no place like home.

What bible character do you take after?  

After the Locusts

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…” ~Joel 2:25

My divorce sent me into downward spiral of pain, depression, self hatred and anger at God. But that’s not the worst part…

In my anger at God, I ran from Him. In my 10 years of running from Him, I did something that carries more weight in guilt than everything else – I stopped teaching my children about God. I stopped attending church and stopped praying with them. I stopped talking about Him and definitely didn’t live a Godly example for them.

In August of 2009, this prodigal daughter returned to her Father, who was waiting with open arms. As I poured out my guilt and pain at the feet of Jesus, one thing was impossible for me to let go… I had let my kids down. The product of my 10 years of selfish living was four kids who didn’t know anything about God, and barely believed in His existence. I would have done anything to go back and change that, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t go back and change the bad decisions and mistakes I had made. But God could!

Through the Mercy and Grace of Christ, my kids began attending the amazing youth group at my church. One by one…

Through the Mercy and Grace of Christ, my kids gave their lives to Jesus. One by one…

Through the Mercy and Grace of Christ, my kids publicly declared their faith through baptism and I got to witness it. One by one…

Through the Mercy and Grace of Christ, I have been able to let go of the guilt and shame of my mistakes. One by one…

As I watched the last of my children be baptized on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico, a scripture ran through my mind. I had heard a friend use it a few weeks before:

Joel 2: 25-27

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten,
The crawling locust,
The consuming locust,
And the chewing locust,
My great army which I sent among you.
You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
And praise the name of the Lord your God,
Who has dealt wondrously with you;
And My people shall never be put to shame.
Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel:
I am the Lord your God
And there is no other.
My people shall never be put to shame.

Through my bad choices, the locusts had eaten a significant chunk of my life and the lives of my children. Through the Mercy and Grace of Christ, those years were restored to me and to them. One by one…

The wonder of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is that when we turn our lives over to Him, fully and completely, He takes our battered and locust ridden lives and turns them into something beautiful and amazing – and He gets all the Glory!