Beautiful Box of Control

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope…”

I am not a spontaneous person.

For as long as I can remember, I prefer to approach life with a plan. I like to know what steps need to be taken between A and Z. This is true for every aspect of my life. I have a need to understand what is coming next in order to feel comfortable and prepared. It is also why I am not a fan of practical jokes. They are so unexpected, and I can’t prepare for my reaction to them. Does this make me controlling? Yes… but I’m working on that… I just need to figure out what steps I must take to fix that negative aspect of my personality. Hmm… maybe I’m going about it the wrong way, don’t you think?

Anyway, today was a day where my carefully planned steps were completely disrupted by an unintentional nap. After I got the kids ready for school, finished packing their lunches, said our prayer and sent them on their way, I fell asleep. I do this sometimes because I don’t sleep well and generally my bed time is between 2 and 3 am. An extra hour in the morning after the kids go to school gives me a boost of energy to face my day. This morning, however, I didn’t wake back up until 1:15 in the afternoon! This is unheard of for me. I made myself a pot of coffee and felt very uneasy at my wasted day. All the plans I had made for errands, bible study and cleaning were ruined. The reality is this spontaneous nap had left me feeling rested physically, but completely frustrated and frazzled emotionally.

When I finally got around to praying and having some quiet time with God, I went to Him with my feelings. Why did I feel this way? Why is it so necessary for me to have my life planned out minute by minute in a neat little package?

I asked God to show me the areas of my life in the biggest need of some spontaneity, and the response I got surprised me (and we all know I don’t like surprises). What I heard the Holy Spirit telling me was “God”. God?? How can God be the thing I control the most? And the Holy Spirit gave me a picture of a pretty little box, all wrapped up in beautiful wrapping, and tied with an extravagant ribbon complete with a bow. What was inside the box? God.

Ouch. I am keeping God in a box in my life. As I wondered why, the answer became clear. I don’t like surprises. I like things planned out, mapped out, following directions step by step. God was letting me know that He is not something that I can control in my life. I can’t possibly map out my relationship with Him because HE is the one who has the plan, not me.

All this time I was thinking that my relationship with my Heavenly Father was solid… I prayed every day, I did my devotional almost every day, I was careful to be a representative of Him to the best of my ability in all that I said and did. But… the truth is I have been trying to control His movement in my life instead of letting Him take the lead. I am lacking trust in Him by taking the reigns myself.

Now I must tell you, one of my favorite things about God is that when He gently corrects me, He never leaves me feeling burdened. As I continued to pray and ask Him to help me open the box that I have been keeping Him in, He gave me a new vision. This time is was a can of peanuts. This was not your ordinary can of peanuts, however, it was the practical joke can. You know the one… the unsuspecting recipient who opens this can is surprised when the spring loaded snake pops out as the lid is lifted; unpredictable and completely harmless. God has been sitting inside my pretty little ribbon-tied box, spring loaded and just waiting for me to release Him into my life. He will not bring me harm, but He will be unpredictable. The question is this: Do I trust Him enough to let Him out?

How is God moving in your life? Are you like me and try to maintain control of the reigns? Or are you spontaneous enough to let him freely bring beautiful unpredictability into your days?

For me… it’s time to let go of the reigns.

Be blessed, my friends!