I'm home alone. This is a rarity in my
life, and I decided to take advantage of the moment. I spent the last
couple hours with worship music blaring from the speakers as I went
about the work that needed to be done. It was pure bliss.
Eventually, I settled down and just
listened to the music and the words that were playing. I let myself
give in to a wonderful, powerful, moving time of worship with my
Creator. At first I prayed, and talked to Him. I prayed for those
that were on my heart, and I prayed for my family and for myself. His
undeniable presence was tangible. Then I started to sing along with
the songs that were playing. As I did so, something in my spirit
shifted.
You see, I LOVE to sing. I have been
singing most of my life, and it is my absolute favorite thing to do.
When singing is combined with worship, I am in my happy place. My
heart of worship lets loose through my voice to my Father in Heaven.
I am not the best singer with the best voice. I know my limitations
when it comes to singing and some days it seems those limitations are
endless! I can carry a tune and a harmony, and that is enough for me.
God gave me the love for song, and I love giving it back to Him.
Tonight, however, He challenged me
during my time of worship. As I sang out the words, “You Make Me
Brave” in full voice, I stopped mid verse. I heard the still, small
voice of the Holy Spirit asking me a question I wasn't prepared to
answer.
“Will you give me your voice?”
What?
“Will you give me your voice?”
An array of thoughts flooded my mind,
that ranged from “Of Course, Lord!” to “I already do give it to
You” to “You mean REALLY give it to you?”
I knew in my heart what God was asking:
Would I be willing to give up this thing that brings me such joy if
He asked me?
I wish I could say that my answer was
an immediate and fervent, “YES!” Being so very human, however, I
hesitated. Then I cried, and finally I gave in to Him. A very weak
answer of “yes, Lord,” came from my lips.
Now this may sound crazy, but instantly
a warmth flooded my throat and my vocal chords. I thought to myself
that He really was going to take my voice! A brief sense of fear
filled my mind, but then I relaxed and gave in to Him some more. I'm
thankful that God has a sense of humor because in this very holy and
profound moment of surrender, the image of Ariel from The Little
Mermaid popped into my head. You know the scene where Ursula takes
her voice? I chuckled at my human brain and continued pressing in to
Him. There was such a deep love that flooded my heart.
Now obviously, God did not physically
take my voice from me, but I know that spiritually something changed
in that moment. I was actually willing to give up my voice, this
thing I love, for Him.
My moment of trust and surrender may
seem insignificant, but it was real. Naturally, this brings to mind
Abraham and Isaac. Can you even imagine what must have gone through
Abraham's mind as he lay his son, the promised heir, on the altar of
sacrifice? That he was willing to lift his knife to sacrifice this
boy, whom he loved, to God is beyond my capability of understanding.
It must have been so confusing for Abraham that God Almighty, the I
Am, would ask this of him. And yet, he was willing and obedient.
We know how the story ends. We know
that God stopped him and gave him a ram to sacrifice instead. At the
time, though, Abraham did not know the ending. This man of faith had
COMPLETE trust in God and understood what it means to surrender
everything in his life to God.
I long to know that kind of surrender
in my life.
How about you? Is there something in
your life that you love so much you aren't sure you could hand it
over if God asked it of you?
Be blessed, my friends.
