BOOM!!

Psalm 147:3 He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds

The bomb goes off. And everything has changed. Only questions remain…

What does the aftermath look like? How long does it take for the smoke to clear? Where do we start the clean up process? Do we first treat the wounds and then rebuild, or should the rebuilding happen as we are treating the wounds?

Recently, an emotional bomb went off in my life. And everything has changed. These questions are what remain in the aftermath of my life as I used to know it. I cannot go back to the way things were before, no matter how hard I try. I can’t ignore the mess that has been left in the wake, no matter how much I want to. I can’t wait for the wounds to heal on their own, no matter how hard they are to face.

The aftermath, I can tell you, is ugly. Not because of the news that was received or the people it involved, but because my life as I see it now in the aftermath is only vaguely familiar. I see shapes and colors and mementos of what once was my reality, but they are mixed in with anger and hurt and sadness.

It has taken me 6 months or so for the smoke to clear enough for me to move forward. To some that seems like an incredibly long time. To some I am moving too slow. But they don’t know my pain. They don’t know my circumstances and I pray to God they never understand what I am going through.

I am not sure where to start cleaning up the mess. I want to avoid it at all cost, and there are days when I do just that. It is too painful to consider, so I curl up on the couch and watch reruns of medical shows all day to occupy my mind enough to forget. But I don’t really forget. So I turn to my old friend, Food, to ease my pain… until I see the Celebrate Recovery chip that hangs from my key chain and I am reminded that Food is not my friend. So I walk away. I try to talk about it, but I find the more I talk about it, the less I can comprehend what I’m feeling, which is too painful to consider so I curl up on the couch… and the cycle begins again.

I need to treat the wounds. Some of them are minor, but others are gaping holes in my heart and I have doubt they will ever be fully repaired. I also need to rebuild, but I’m not ready for that yet… Triage is where I need to be. I need to stop the bleeding first before I can do anything else. I’m thankful the smoke cleared enough for me to realize that.

Psalm 147:3 says that He will heal this broken heart. It promises that He is my Triage… He will bind up these wounds. I believe that. I believe that He can heal this broken heart, but first I have to be willing to hand it over to him. I have to be willing to lie at the feet of Jesus and hand over this situation…

I don’t know if I am strong enough to do that yet, but I am willing to try. His promises are eternal, and I believe the living word of God when it says that He will heal this broken heart. Do you? What aftermath in your life are you clinging to? I am going to try to give this burden to Him… I hope you will join me. There is healing and freedom at the feet of Jesus. Be blessed!